


Graveyard Blues

by PalauMaggot



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M, Wade is a precious baby, bartending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 02:03:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14345631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PalauMaggot/pseuds/PalauMaggot
Summary: That one Bartending AU that no one asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

Tony paused briefly on his way to the bar. All along the counter were dozens of glasses. He took a moment to make eye contact with the slightly frazzled and annoyed bar back and mouth a “Wow.” before entering the bar.

The bar back sighed briefly before shaking his head as he unloaded the dishwasher, “Sorry man, I’m going to get it all done before I leave.”

Tony nodded as he set up his register and glanced around the bar. After seeing there was nobody wanting his attention, he waited until the other unloaded the last glass before helping to load the next batch, “It’s cool man. But who was your bartender? They aren’t supposed to leave you with everything.” He didn’t have much of his usual snark since it wasn’t his typical shift. (Last time he picks up a grave.) but it didn’t mean he was just going to zone.

Well. He would later when the casino starts to look like a barren wasteland.

…

More of a barren wasteland.

The bar back sighed again before shaking his head, “I always have to clean up after him. No matter what and today is worse than he’s ever done.”

Tony paused for a second, glanced at the bar, and then remembered what time it was, “Ah. This is my fault.”

The other blinked and furrowed his eyebrows.

Tony just gave him a dry smile, “Justin kind of hates me. So this is my fault.” He took in the appearance and actually saw how exhausted the other was and continued, “Dude. Go. Didn’t your shift end like twenty minutes ago?” Tony made a shooing motion with his hands and forced the bar back away from the dishwasher, “I got this. You go sleep.”

Brown eyes blinked again and confusion settled on his features, “But aren’t you-?”

Tony shook his head and opted to push the other, “Nope. Go. This is me being nice. Don’t tell anyone. You’ll totally ruin my rep.”

The bar back paused when he was on the other side of the door and stared at Tony for a few seconds.

Tony stared back as he pushed the button for the dishwasher, “…You look constipated.” At the sudden reaction Tony chuckled again. He held out a hand, “I’m Tony.” He noticed the surprise on the other’s features again and the slight hesitation before he reached out and shook Tony’s hand.

“Sam.”

A sudden thought occurred to Tony, “Aren’t you a Graveyard barback too?”

Sam nodded and ran a hand through his hair, “Yeah I switched and came in a bit early so I could leave early because Steve and I are going to a mutual friend’s wedding tomorrow.” Sam glanced at his watch, “Er, today.”

Tony nodded, “And Steve switched with me because he’s going too.”

Sam nodded tiredly before looking back at all of the glassware still waiting to be washed, “So much for leaving early.” He mumbled under his breath.

Tony grinned, “Sam.” He waited until the other looked up, “I have this friend named Sleep. She’s waiting in your bed for you to join her. Now shoo.”

Sam chuckled and shook his head before turning away, “Thanks man.”

Tony looked back to the dishwasher that was still running and then to the glass that was still covering the bar and ran a hand through his hair tiredly. He went to the coffee pot, stared for a couple of seconds to debate before pulling out the bags of grounds and making a personal strong cup for himself.

Definitely the last time he picks up a graveyard shift.

 

* * *

 

“Please, you’ve gotta do this for me…” Tony didn’t resort to begging much but when the playlist was only Pop music from the same five artists that is on repeat, one could only take so much.

_“Sorry man, I don’t control the music. You know that.”_

“Pete. Petey. Petey Pie. Pe-”

_"If you continue I will have Wade punch you.”_

Tony sighed, “Horrible threat. I’m friends with Clint in surveillance. He’ll save me from your security boyfriend.”

_“Your friendship is the kind that laughs when the other gets hurt. I’m sure Clint would turn the camera away more than anything.”_

Tony glared at the wall in silent agreement, “Actually he would want to see it happen. He’d probably record it with his phone.”

_“Haha, yeah probably.”_

Tony groaned and let his head fall against the wall, “Just sneak in one ACDC song. Just one. No one would notice.”

_“Everyone would notice.”_

Tony grunted again and lightly hit his head against the wall repeatedly, “Who even picks this playlist??”

“ _Fury_.”

Tony stopped in surprise and blinked, “Fury listens to Pop music?”

Peter made a noncommittal noise, “ _All I know is that he creates the playlist._ ”

Tony turned around and leaned against the wall to look at all of his empty seats, “I’m not sure if I’m upset anymore with this information.”

Peter laughed and was about to say something else when Tony cringed at the opening of the next song.

“Never mind, I am even more upset, “Call Me Maybe”?? Really? Pete at least just turn off the speakers over my bar!” Tony sighed when he was just met with a dial tone. He hung up the phone and crossed his arms. There went his other attempt at a distraction. What did Graveyard bartenders DO??

 

* * *

 

Tony was wiping down the coffee pot when he noticed the grey out of the corner of his eye. He turned and smiled, “What up, Wade?”

Wade had his arms crossed with his eyebrow raised.

Tony just kept smiling, “Your boyfriend’s adorable.”

Wade broke out into a wide smile, “I know right?”

The scarring on his face was definitely jarring but one gets used to it after a time. It actually made Wade’s job easier because it made most customers uncomfortable and they just want to get away from the man.

Everyone who worked there for a while knew Wade was just a big softy, that sometimes took dick jokes too far according to some. (Not to Tony.)

Tony grinned from behind the bar and held out one of his strong coffees, “You want one?”

Wade scoffed, “The coffee here sucks worse than a blow job by a blender.” He cocked his head slightly which Tony knew was a tell for his earpiece and waited until the blue eyes focused back on him.

“You’ve never tried my special crack coffee.” Tony wiggled the cup slightly to tempt the other, “Even Natasha likes it.” Tony grinned at the blink of surprise and handed it over when Wade made grabby hands. Tony watched him take one drink, pause, and bring the cup away from his face to stare at it, “I’m assuming you like it since it’s not on the floor. You’re welcome.”

Wade turned to stare at Tony before looking back to the cup, “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

Tony bowed and chuckled.

Wade took another gulp and groaned, “I would give anything to keep having this every morning.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, “Anything?”

Wade paused for a good two minutes while staring at the cup, “Almost anything. If you could make chimichangas as good as this coffee then it would fucking be anything.”

“Chimichangas are the crunchy ones, right?”

Wade stopped drinking the coffee and stared at Tony, “You’ve got to be shitting me. You don’t know what chimi-fucking-changas are?!”

Tony shrugged, “I’m more of an Italian kind of guy.”

Wade shook his head, “We’re not friends anymore.” He turned and walked away from the bar.

Tony laughed and shouted after him, “But who will grade my dick-pics with an unbiased eye?!” He kept laughing even though an older man’s head snapped towards him and shook his head in disgust before leaving the area. Whatever.

He probably wouldn’t have tipped anyway.

 

* * *

 

Tony cheered with happiness when he saw Natasha going towards his bar, “Finally!!” He quickly packed up his register and just when Nat entered, he logged off the screen, “You wouldn’t believe how bored I was, oh my god.”

Natasha smirked and rolled her eyes, “I’ve picked up a couple shifts before, I know.” She glance around the counters and raised an eyebrow, “Where’s my coffee?”

Tony laughed and opened the fridge door, “I know that you don’t actually hate the iced coffees when they’re done right.” He took out the cup and handed it over. He smirked when she took an immediate drink.

“Hazelnut?”

Tony shrugged, “Wanted to get fancy.”

Natasha shook her head at him, “You’re always fancy.”

“I know you meant that as an insult but I’m going to take it as a compliment.”

“You would. Our rotation is messed up today because of your switch.” Nat rolled her eyes, “Fury seemed more pissed than usual since two people called off.”

Tony laughed, “I think that was the one saving grace from being on Graveyard. He only popped by once.”

The red head finally hip-checked him out of the way of the register and logged on to set up her things, “That’s because you don’t get into trouble with the customers on Grave. There’s no one here for you to insult.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “You would have put that guy in his place for ordering a Cuba Libre WITHOUT lIME too, don’t even deny it.” The most annoying part of being a bartender was the fact that some people thought they knew the drinks better than the bartender.

Nat nodded and closed the drawer, “Maybe. But I also wouldn’t have called him an ‘ass clown that didn’t know good liquor if it was forced down his gelatinous neck’ either.”

Tony smiled at the memory, “Hmmm. Yeah, probably not.”

Nat glance back at him and shook his head, “Alright, go home and sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tony paused on his way out, “How did what’s his name do yesterday?”

Natasha shrugged, “Steve was fine. He’s been on day shift before he switched to graveyard so he knew the ropes already. Some of your regulars were sad that you weren’t there though.”

Tony smiled and nodded, “That’s good to hear I wasn’t replaced.”

The red head chuckled, “Doesn’t mean they didn’t like the change of pace. Steve is a hell of a lot more polite than you are.”

Tony snorted, “Half the reason why they like me is because I insult them.”

Natasha hummed with a half smiled, “Go home. Go to sleep and don’t mess up the rotation tomorrow.”

Tony chuckled and left the bar.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanks to an adorable idea from the anonymous reviewer named 'Ghost', i wrote the initial meeting and 'dates' between Peter and Wade! <3

Peter grumbled about the ceiling wires before unfolding the ladder, “Why does it always have to be in the ceiling? Why can’t they just invest in ground wires???” He said under his breath. Peter accended the ladder and pushed the tile out of the way in order to get to the wiring. He took one more step and fished the small flashlight from his pocket.

Peter turned it on and stuck it in his mouth so he could use both hands, although it didn’t stop him from the audible mumbling around the piece of equipment. It was the third time that month he had to organize the different outputs since nothing was staying the same.

He sealed the end and picked up the walkie-talkie from his belt, then he took the flashlight out of his mouth in order to communicate, “How’s it look?”

_“Did you change anything?”_

Peter cursed quietly before hitting the box with his light. He stopped when Clint’s voice came through again, “ _There we go!_ ” Peter let out a breath of relief and rubbed his eyes.

“Are we done?”

_“Unfortunately no, my man. Two more servers.”_

Peter groaned again and stepped down from the ladder. Why did the casino insist on adding so many more new machines? He trudged his way to the next hallway and set up the ladder again.

Footsteps sounded through the hallway and Peter dismissed it, people had different lunch breaks, with however many employees the casino had it was needed that they all had different breaks.

Peter fiddled with his flashlight and sighed again when he reached for the control box. A movement made him jerk backwards. And holy shit was that the biggest spider he had ever seen. Peter snatched his hands away from the box but it also messed with his balance on the ladder.

Peter hit the back of his head on the ceiling tile as he jerked backwards and he felt the ladder wobble before his foot slipped entirely off of the step. All he had time to do was a sharp intake of breath that was barely audible.

What he landed on wasn’t the hard floor however. And his decent was a lot shorter than he expected as well. Peter blinked up at the concerned eyes that were just above his face.

“Are you alright?”

The brunet nodded and cleared his throat, “Yeah, thanks for that.” He was placed on his feet and then he looked at the ladder again before running a hand through his hair, wincing when he reached the area that was hit, “Ow.”

The security reached forward and tilted Peter’s chin up.

Peter blinked again and furrowed his eyebrows in a silent question.

The other looked into his eyes and then nodded after a few seconds, “Doesn’t look like you have a concussion. But since I saw it happen, we’re going to have to fill out an incident report.”

Peter sighed and nodded, “Yeah.” He looked at the ladder and folded it up before placing it out of the way, He pulled his walkie off of his belt loop and radioed Clint, “Going to have to take a bit. Accident happened.”

Clint immediately replied, “ _Are you okay?_ ”

“Yeah, I’m good. You know my clumsiness.”

_“Alright dude. I’ll tell Fury so he doesn’t blow a gasket.”_

“Thanks” He turned back to the security as he put the walkie back in it’s place, “I’m Peter.” He extended a hand and smiled.

“Wade.” Blue eyes blinked again and he stared at the hand for a moment before reaching forward to shake it. Wade stared at the point they were joined and then looked back at Peter in barely disguised confusion.

The brunet paid it no mind and rubbed his head again. He figured not many people ignored the man’s scars but the skin didn’t make the person and Peter hated when people judged a book by it’s cover. Besides, he was more than acclimated to scars. When his aunt took shifts in the pediatric burn ward of the local hospital, Peter would stop by and talk with everyone and sometimes play with the kids that were there in his off time.

Wade finally seemed to get himself together and cleared his throat, “So, how did you manage to fall?”

Peter shook his head, “Huge spider.”

Wade chuckled, “Don’t like them?” They reached the security office and he ducked behind the door to get two slips of paper and pens.

Peter took the paper and pen with a nod and then shook his head, “I actually like them, just don’t want to get bit by one.”

As Wade was filling out his paper he glanced to Peter out of the corner of his eye, “Falling five feet is better?”

Peter chuckled and shook his head again, “Way better.” He finished writing out his report and continued, “Besides, I had a knight in dull grey armor.” When Wade dropped his pen, Peter offered his own with a small smile.

Wade thanked him and finished his own report before taking Peter’s slip and filing them at his supervisor’s desk. When he exited the security office again he paused when he noticed Peter was down the hallway but stopped and still rubbing his head. He walked over to the other man and stopped him, “You sure you’re okay?”

Peter nodded, “Yeah, just a headache.” He smiled at Wade and extended his hand again, “It was nice to meet you, Wade.”

Wade swallowed and took the offered hand once again. People never tried to initiate contact during their first meetings. He cleared his throat again and glanced away from the captivating and above all else _kind_  eyes, “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

Peter blinked and tilted his head to the side, “We only just met?”

Wade looked back to Peter’s eyes and when he saw no repulsion in the brown eyes he smiled, “It could be friend-dates. In the cafeteria when we’re on break?”

Peter gave Wade a small half-smile, “Sure.” The guy probably didn’t have a lot of friends because of his scars. And he seemed nice enough to hang out with.

 

* * *

 

It was three days before Peter actually said yes to a real date. He wanted to make sure that they would actually be able to talk and Wade, when he wasn’t thrown off with Peter’s easy acceptance of his scars, was definitely embarrassing.

In the best kind of way of course.

During their second lunch “friend-date” Peter brought up a question, “Does it bug you?”

Wade paused in the middle of taking a drink from his soda, “What?”

Peter gestured to the people actively trying to not look in their direction.

Wade put down the can and rubbed his forefinger and thumb together, “It did at first, but now I’m used to it.” He shrugged and flexed his hand to look at the scars there.

Peter huffed and crossed his arms, “You shouldn’t have to be. People shouldn’t judge someone by what they look like.” He said a little more angrily than he meant to.

Wade blinked at the venom in his words before leaning sideways on the table to get a better look at the brunet, “Why didn’t you stare?”

Peter glanced at Wade and then to someone who was obviously new. Since they were wide eyed at Wade’s appearance and couldn’t seem to look away. He glared at the other man and waited until they looked at him to lift his eyebrows in a pointed manner. The man jumped and chose to sit facing away from them, “My aunt sometimes works in the PICU burn ward at the hospital. I like to visit and play with the kids. You don’t have a choice about how you look.”

Wade just shook his head and stared, “You are fucking unreal.”

Peter raised an eyebrow at Wade before snorting, “I’m a decent human being.”

If Wade hadn’t already been infatuated with Peter, that would have done it. As it was, he felt himself fall a little more for the brunet.

 

* * *

 

The next day he asked Peter out again.

Peter blinked through his mouthful of noodles, “Like a friend-date?” He managed to ask semi-clearly.

Wade took a small breath and shook his head, “No, like a date-date.” He bit his lip and watched as Peter swallowed his mouthful and lean back in his seat, “Or, are you straight? Probably should have asked that first, huh?” Wade looked straight ahead and caught another person quickly look away from him. It made him feel a little more self-conscious than normal.

Peter drummed on the table, “I’m not straight.” He stared at his hand for a bit before looking at Wade again, “I’d like to go out with you, yeah.” He smiled at Wade when the man looked at him in shock, “Just warning you, I don’t really fall that easily.”

Wade just grinned, “That’s fine, You’re giving me a chance.”

Peter felt a small amount of heat crawl up his neck and he looked back to his lunch. Well, maybe he would fall a bit faster this time? He shook his head and went back to eating. Only time would tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was seriously too adorable to pass up.

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this a long time ago when i was a bartender at a casino and this was going to be more or less of a based on true events type of thing? (i have showed up to the bar when the previous bartender screwed me over with the dirty glass. Crack-coffee is a thing as well when you're on Grave.)
> 
> i never continued. i was going to have a bunch more characters in this but idk, i lost interest and drive to want to so here is this since it works pretty well for a oneshot.  
> i was going to give tony his acdc, i was going to have both him and steve on at the same bar with steve appaled at tonys insults. i was also going to have some darker stuff with rando customers and the not so secret panic button too but cest la vie.  
> anyway, here's everyone else's positions:
> 
> Tony - Day Bartender  
> Natasha -Day Bartender  
> Steve - Grave Bartender  
> Sam - Grave Barback  
> Justin Hammer - Swing Bartender  
> Clint- surveillence  
> Peter Parker - technical support  
> Wade Wilson - security  
> Pietro - change clerk  
> Wanda - change clerk  
> Loki - day dealer  
> Thor - swing bartender  
> Fury - supervisor
> 
> the mutual friend was Peggy.  
> if anyone wants to write in this au by all means write it! i would love to see what you do!


End file.
